They hate me. They really, really hate me.

By James Adonis

Looking back, I think it was the death threats that did it. Yes, that must be it. That was the time I finally realised that despite my unhealthy desire to be liked, it was possible that employees within my team hated my guts. And that's putting it nicely. A few of them thought I was the Devil. You might be in the same boat. Instead of smiles, you get sneers. Instead of work, you get whining. Instead of love, you get utter contempt, revulsion, and loathing.

I guess you might not care whether or not your employees hate you. In your macho mind you might moan and mumble that work is work and if your employees don't like it, they can leave. Or perhaps in your shoulder-padded corporate suit, you're willing to do whatever it takes to break that glass ceiling and if that means employees despise your ruthlessness, then so be it. If you fall into one of those two miserable categories, you're oblivious to the fact that when employees love you, they'll do anything for you.

Or alternatively, you might be wise enough to know that every time an employee resigns, it costs roughly double their annual salary to replace them. You might even be aware of research released by ISR back in 2006, which found that companies with high levels of employee engagement increased their operating income by 19 percent compared with a 33 percent decline for those with low engagement. And that's just one of a billion studies showing the big difference between businesses that care... and those that don't.

Let's assume you do care. You want to be respected, not dejected. When you look at world leaders, you want to be more like Barack Obama than Iran's Mahmoud I'm-a-dinner-jacket or Fiji's Frank Bananarama. Here then are the main signs that indicate your employees have put in an order for a boss voodoo doll - using your petty cash.

They avoid you: When you go left, they go right. When you're around, they're out of sight. When they leave at night, they might, just might, offer you a vague goodbye. This is what life is like when you're the kind of boss that's unpleasant and mean, impatient and lean. The tired and old, trite and untrue mantra of 'the customer is always right' has always confused me. If managers and business owners believe in this hyperbole, why don't they cherish the people who are ultimately responsible for providing the customer service they so desire? Employees need to love working with you. Actually, make that LOVE, with capital letters, because only then will their smiles influence your buyers.

They leave: And during a period where online job ads have reduced by 50 percent, that's really saying something. You may or may not run exit interviews, but either way, I've never been able to understand them. Delivering an exit interview is just like having your husband or wife request a divorce, and then you wait until the divorce papers have been signed before you ask, "So, do you mind telling me why you want to break up?" More effective than an exit interview is a Stay Interview, where you ask your employees in advance what it takes to keep them loyal.

They don't do more: Whether it's an aversion to putting forward new ideas or distaste for doing more than what is on their job description, your employees are disgusted at the thought of going out of their way for you. They wouldn't say this out loud, of course, but you can see it on their faces. They're either too busy or too blissfully unaware that more needs doing. They'd much prefer to chew on razor blades than to help you move a box. The question that arises is, why? Why would people be fundamentally allergic to giving their bosses more bang for their buck? Maybe they don't feel valued; maybe their talents are wasting away; maybe they can't link it to their purpose; and so on...

They don't stay back: As soon as 5 o'clock hits, they're out the door faster than Speedy Gonzales on speed. As far as they're concerned, their prison sentence is over and they're allowed to go home, remanded on bail. They'd rather spend a day at Guantanamo Bay than another minute in your office. Their desks were cleared and their bags were packed half an hour before they were due to finish. This is what disengaged employees do best - the bare minimum. Penalty rates aren't enough to lure a switched-off employee to stay on. You need to lure them not with tangible bait but with intangible romance. Seduce your staff with strong workplace relationships, mind-stretching training, and genuine appreciation.

They're nervous: The way your employees stutter and blunder when talking to you makes it seem as if they're having a conversation with Mr Bad from E-Street. There's something about you that intimidates them. You might not have a face painted half silver and half black like Mr Bad's, but you may as well go and do it anyway. If your employees are too scared to approach you, how easy will it be for them to tell you when something is wrong? The more comfortable you make the interactions with your staff, then the more they'll work with you rather than against you.

They don't open up: They don't know anything about you and you don't know anything about them. Conversation is limited to painful small talk, or worse, the issuing of instructions. Perhaps you're an extreme introvert, or worse, just indifferent. Know this: A primary factor that keeps employees working harder and longer is the type of relationship they have with their manager. The first step in this is meaningful communication, in which case it's important to heed Margaret Miller's quip when she said, "Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness."

You can be lovelier than Princess Mary and holier than the Pope and yet still come across the odd employee who'll curse your existence. The above six signs will help you to pinpoint employees who hate you subtly. But most times it'll be blindingly obvious, such as when you catch them scratching your eyes out of a team photo. Watch out for that.

To download complimentary e-books on employee engagement, retention, and recruitment (valued at over $100), please click here.